welcome readers & writers! thanks to filmguy & chuck galle for your story on yesterday's photo, and to krowles1981, cjohnson, and chuck galle for your new additions to thursday's post, illumined.
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it's spoof saturday! time for a little silliness and fun. check out some other spoof saturday fun by clicking here, here, and here. today's spoof saturday assignment (we need to make use of these very cool aprons): write me some recipes for disaster. click on comments below to share them with your biggest fan (that's me!).
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here are a few from my recipe box:
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How to Make a Spot on Your Lovely White Shirt
ingredients
1 white shirt
spaghetti with red sauce
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directions
Bring the two into close proximity. Ruin shirt.
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How to Make Mama Pull Out Her Hair
ingredients
3 boys, varying ages
1 dog
snacks and sweet treats
1 minivan
1 map, marked for thirteen hours of driving
stack of dvds
1 dvd player designed to break after a few trips so you have to buy a new one
1 iphone
1 Radio Shack in the middle of nowhere
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directions
Pack until two a.m. The next morning, put boys and dog in minivan - begin driving and mix well. Toss in snacks and treats. Spin dvds in player until player won't work anymore. Try to convince boys to read books, play old fashioned car games or sing old fashioned car songs. Plug ears to drown out fighting and complaining. Use husband's iphone to locate nearest Radio Shack. Drive half an hour out of the way to said Radio Shack. Buy new device. Repeat.
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How to Lose All Confidence in Your Writing
ingredients
one query letter which has been kneaded, formed, tenderized, coddled, chilled, baked and glazed
one online agent with a site called "query shark"
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directions
Send letter to this Shark person for feedback. See Shark rip it to shreds. Try to piece back together, only better. Send to Shark again. See Shark rip it to shreds again. Read 47 comments on Shark's site, most of which take the shredded pieces ripped by Shark and rip them into tinier pieces. Cry. Put letter away for one week. Try again. Only this time, don't send to someone called 'Shark', dummie!
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thanks, friends! come write with me :)
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How to Make a Spot on Your Lovely White Shirt
ingredients
1 white shirt
spaghetti with red sauce
-
directions
Bring the two into close proximity. Ruin shirt.
-
-
How to Make Mama Pull Out Her Hair
ingredients
3 boys, varying ages
1 dog
snacks and sweet treats
1 minivan
1 map, marked for thirteen hours of driving
stack of dvds
1 dvd player designed to break after a few trips so you have to buy a new one
1 iphone
1 Radio Shack in the middle of nowhere
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directions
Pack until two a.m. The next morning, put boys and dog in minivan - begin driving and mix well. Toss in snacks and treats. Spin dvds in player until player won't work anymore. Try to convince boys to read books, play old fashioned car games or sing old fashioned car songs. Plug ears to drown out fighting and complaining. Use husband's iphone to locate nearest Radio Shack. Drive half an hour out of the way to said Radio Shack. Buy new device. Repeat.
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How to Lose All Confidence in Your Writing
ingredients
one query letter which has been kneaded, formed, tenderized, coddled, chilled, baked and glazed
one online agent with a site called "query shark"
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directions
Send letter to this Shark person for feedback. See Shark rip it to shreds. Try to piece back together, only better. Send to Shark again. See Shark rip it to shreds again. Read 47 comments on Shark's site, most of which take the shredded pieces ripped by Shark and rip them into tinier pieces. Cry. Put letter away for one week. Try again. Only this time, don't send to someone called 'Shark', dummie!
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thanks, friends! come write with me :)
Oh yes I"ve experienced most of these, esp the white shirt and red sauce!
ReplyDeleteHow to start your driving career
ReplyDelete1. new "old" car
2. fresh driver's license (must be still warm)
3. intersection
4. fire hydrant
5. friends to wave to across intersection
6. only one hand on wheel of really big '66 Impala
7. do I really need to finish this?
8. stir and alter recipe for big hole in side of car, do not repeat this recipe.