happy spoof saturday, writers & readers! thank you, cgalle, for yesterday's story. be sure also to see the new story sent in by Pauline in on on slanted. on saturdays we take things a little bit easier around here by writing on the lighter side. you can read our other spoof saturday fun here and here.
***
being as it's back to school season for kids, teachers & college students, a lot of folks have school supplies on the brain. what about a supply list for the "school of hard knocks"? here's mine. show me yours? 250(ish) words or less by clicking on comments below. come write with me!
-
school of hard knocks
supply list
crash helmet
extra thick skin (at least ten sets, seven layers each)
dark chocolate
exact change for toll roads
sunken bathtub
witty comebacks to deflect the deranged
lock pick set (includes 3 brothers)
dustin hoffman
good books
good music
good friends
So funny! Dark chocolate . . . lol
ReplyDeleteHere's my list:
1. Fist
2. Dog
3. Collar
4. Toothbrush (hey...hygiene is still important)
5. Research - can come in form of movies such as "300" or "The Outsiders." Would also accept "Annie."
6. Sidekick. Must be short.
7. I-Pod speakers. All fights must be accompanied by good music. This is non-negotiable.
8.Insurance
9. You will need to provide an emergency contact in the unlikely event of what our headmaster calls "An act of God."
Oh, and absolutely no lawyers.
If you decide to enroll at the School of Hard Knocks,
ReplyDeleteIn your search for supplies to bring
Consider some ammo, some rocks in your socks,
And an expandable brass knuckles ring,
A book for the bus, windows tinted black --
I'd suggest some Hemingway or Joyce
For no one will mess with a girl who don't lack
A manly, drunken, expatriate voice --
Five pens with sharp razors, a note pad shield,
And some refills of poison ink,
Sunscreen, fly swatter, ant hotels and Raid,
Common sense and the ability to think.
And once you've packed, there's just one more item
Besides canned oxygen for bio-terror air:
Stow away for a day full of hard knocks and fightin',
Your best comrade: your teddy bear.
school of hard knocks
ReplyDeletesupply list
super glue and duct tape - almost everything can be made right with super glue and/or duct tape
Bandaid - which is really just small weak duct tape
Jolt cola - if you can't find any super glue or duct tape, drink some Jolt and go back out there... cause without the super glue and/or duct tape you are just going remain in a failed state
Twinkies - cause you have to eat something when you drink Jolt cola and the extra sugar may help your search for... super glue and/or duct tape... why is everything blurry??
A heavy foam coat - after all that sugar and caffeine, you are gonna need padding as you bounce off the walls searching for super glue and duct tape
Coleman battery powered fan - hULLO! That foam coat is damn hot in Texas almost any month of the year!!
Whataburger - cause frankly that Twinkie and Jolt cola can just didn't carry you that far and now it has been hours and really... you are just really really hungry and have a headache and a good burger and some Ice Tea might help...
and the number one thing? preprinted shopping lists with "Super Glue" and "duct tape" at the top so you NEVER forget to have some laying around to get out of those impossibly stupid situations. Oh... and some Jolt and Twinkies would be nice! :)